Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

France and Germany Lose their Cool

For whatever issues the European Union faces - we hear lots about the PIIG countries (Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece, not to mention Cyprus; will Britain join the euro or stay out?) - one undeniable fact remains: the two largest countries in that bloc, which were more-or-less in a continual state of war for most of the last couple of centuries, haven't fired a shot at each other since 1945. 

That is progress.

Now however, a minor battle has erupted.

No gunfire is involved.

But for the past three months, France has been refusing to allow the German Daimler-Benz corporation to sell a wide swath of its new Mercedes-Benz product line (including the CLA shown here) because - well, because of air conditioning refrigerant.

The issue dates back to the 1970s, when the chemical universally used in automotive A/C systems, a chlorofluorocarbon called R12, was deemed to be a threat to the ozone layer.

It was banned - subsequently, the ozone layer has apparently begun to heal; cause and effect, if any, not really established.

It was replaced with the seemingly less-threatening R-134a.

But when R-134a leaked, as refrigerants do, it turned out to be a way worse greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide, the universal Bad Boy of that branch of environmental science.

So another new compound - R-1234yf - was introduced, and became the European Union-mandated product.

As I understand it, this was invented and is made only by Honeywell and DuPont - I know a bit about cars, not so much about cartels...

But Daimler-Benz says that R-1234yf is extremely flammable, and when it leaks in crash tests, it can cause fires. Safety has long been a Mercedes touchstone, so the company has gone back to R-134 until a better replacement can be found.

This is in contravention of the EU rules. Almost needless to say, the German government gave Daimler-Benz a Mulligan on this one.

But France decided to put its foot down by refusing to register any new Mercedes models with R-134a in their A/C systems.

German cars tend to emit more pollutants by virtue of their larger, more powerful engines than do French cars, which tend to be smaller.

Gosh, you don't think the French government is playing politics here, do you? Using regulations to help their home-grown manufacturers? Who would even think of such a thing?

(Well, I guess I did, so...).

In any event, just three days ago, France's highest 'administrative court' - I guess it's like their Supreme Court? - struck down the ban.

The war isn't over.

But this battle goes to the Germans.

Life's A Bitch, Someone Steals your Lunch...

...and then you die.

Here you can see the sort of thing I am forced to do for living....

Nissan and Football

Nissan is having a massive sale at Ontario Place this weekend.

It has been organized by Nissan Canada in conjunction with its local dealers.

It follows on a similar event held last month in Montreal, which was judged a success.

You can test-drive the entire line-up on a little test course set up in the Ontario Place parking lot (well, 'entire' except, as I understand it, the mighty GT-R sports coupe).

Balloons, hot dogs, fun for the kiddies...

(BTW I lifted this image from the InterTube. It is a bunch of Nissans, it is Ontario Place, I cannot guarantee it was taken from this particular event. But you, um, get the picture...).

There's also a big spinning wheel - buy a car, spin the wheel, and depending on where it stops ("Nobody Knows!") you get $1,000, $3,000 or $30,000 off your purchase.

If you're like one lucky dude yesterday, that means you get your car for free.

At the very least, I guess you could take the TTC or GO to the CNE, buy a car, and drive home.

Nissan says this event is planned as a one-off, but if it works spectacularly well, why wouldn't they do it again? Probably in other cities as well.

One thing I find odd about this event. Nissan has shown great intelligence by being a corporate sponsor of the Canadian Football League, by far the most entertaining brand of football played anywhere.

Every player on every team even has "NISSAN" right on his jersey.

Yet this Ontario Place event offers swag from the US National Football League.

The NFL is what you watch if golf is just not boring enough to put you to sleep.

Yeah, yeah the athletes are fantastic.

But that tiny field, the ridiculous rules... "Fair Catch?" Come on, you coward - catch the ball and run. That's what you're paid millions of dollars to do.

I'm sure if there wasn't Las Vegas betting on NFL football, that entire snooze-fest would disapppear without a trace.

The Stupour Bowl? Give me a break.

Why the heck is Nissan Canada not leveraging its association with the CFL?

The minds of marketing people work in mysterious ways.

Laps in a Rally Car at Mosport

I always say I have one year of racing experience, 40 times.

Not quite the same as 40 years of experience!

Even before I got this gig, I was racing. I may be a life-long mid-packer, but at least I got out there, and I can still get a car around a track reasonably well.

And, you can see the proper racing line from where I am.

Most of the time.

But sometimes I forget that not everybody is this lucky.

So when local Milton-based activist-in-general, town councillor and neighbour Jan Mowbray asked if I could come up with a little prize to offer for a couple of charity auctions she was organizing - in these cases, for the Bob Rumball Centres for the Deaf, and the Rotary Club of Milton - I wondered if she thought giving people rides around Mosport in my Targa Newfoundland Kia Optima Turbo rally car might appeal.

She liked the idea so much she bought one of them herself.

So did Tom and Shirley Dusmet, and Bill Zammit.

The issue then became to find a day when all of the guests and me were simultaneously free, and when we could gain access to Mosport.

Plus, the Kia was undergoing modifications for this year's Targa at Frank and Dan Sprongl's Four Star Motorsports shop in Georgetown - better suspension, bigger brakes - and we had to schedule our drive day around parts availability and the Sprongls' work schedule.

Billy Smilovsky to the rescue. Billy runs Engineered Automotive, a massive high-end automotive repair, modification, race-prep and restoration shop in Concord.

He puts on regular track days for his customers so they can give their cars work-outs they can't really do on the street. He invited me to one of his sessions last week. 

At the last moment Bill Zammit couldn't make it on this day, so he made a present of it to his son Jeff.

That's me, Jan, Jeff, Shirley and Tom left to right above, with the rally car.

None of the guests had ever been driven around Mosport before. I love it when I have newbies in the car. They try to be cool and all, but once in a while, they'll have a wo...rd catch in their thro...at...

That's my clue that I've got their attention.

Jan called it an "awesome, fabulous, over-the-top experience."

I think the others enjoyed it too.

And, we raised about two grand for the two beneficiaries.

Plus, I got a chance to try out the car before it gets shipped down to Newfoundland next week - Targa begins September 17.

These AP Racing brakes are stupendous. I was following 911 Turbos and ZR-1 Corvettes into Turn 5A, and outbraking them by thirty metres...

I hope to be able to offer these rides again, so watch for a charity auction at a location near you!

Many thanks to Kia for letting me borrow the car, to Dan and Frank Sprongl for working hard to meet our timetable, to Billy Smilovsky and his team - his wife Maureen who really runs the show including organizing the terrific lunch, to Larry Caruso and all the marshals, safety crew etc., who manage the sessions, work the flags, keep everything moving smoothly. All very professional, yet friendly and relaxed.

We'll be back!

Ben Hur Hubcaps

Younger folks might not get the reference, but 'Ben Hur' was a movie about chariot racing in ancient Rome.

Apparently back in the day, they tended to cheat a bit too - sort of like NASCAR - and having swords come out of the axles of the chariots was a way to hobble your opponents.

I.e., cripple their horses.

Seems to me, speaking of old movie references, there was a James Bond Aston Martin that did this too.

You'd think with all the safety standards modern vehicles must meet, those days were over.

Not so's you'd notice from this truck, a photo of which was submitted to me by an Alert Reader the other day.

Man, you wouldn't want to be walking next to this thing when he pulled out.

I think the same - and have commented on it before - about how passenger cars have to meet very stringent bumper standards, but trucks can have back ends that look like horizontal guillotines.

(I have a photo of one of these somewhere; darned if I can find it...).

But rear-end one of those things and it's "Off With Your Head!"

I guess consistency in safety standards is too much to ask?

Corvette Stingray Family Photo

From the media preview of the 2014 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, a.k.a. "C7", in Monterey California, a nice family photo.

Front row, left to right: C7 Coupe, C7 Convertible, 1963 Split-Window Coupe.

Back Row, left to right: C1 through C6 respectively.

More details and driving impressions on the C7 coupe to follow in this Saturday's Wheels.

As a bit of a tease, let me just say that I did NOT have to use my favourite Media Preview line to the engineers: "Is it too late to stop production?"...

 

 

Corvette Stingray

This is the 2014 Corvette Stingray, best known amongst the cognoscenti as the C7:

It's parked in front of the Aquarium in Monterey California Monday evening; we'll be driving the car around this area Tuesday - that'll be as in today for most of you reading this....

This close to Laguna Seca Race Track and not ON the track?

Sadly yes - this is Pebble Beach Concours / Monterey Historic Races Week around here, and the track is otherwise booked.

But we have been told by others who have driven this route that it does give the car a good workout, and we'll have full details in Wheels this Saturday.

My colleague Marc Lachapelle and I drove the fabulous new Jaguar F-Type in Spain a couple of months ago; we are teaming up again in the C7, and expect it to be pretty stiff competition for the Jag.

And, as it always has been, the Corvette will be a tremendous bargain, being tens of thousands of dollars less than the Jaguar.

Yes, I do have a tough life. Thanks for your concern.

Oh - did I tell you next week it's the Porsche 911 Turbo in Germany?

I know. You all hate me.

But I still love you all...

Cars, Streets and Street Cars

Driven in downtown Toronto lately?

A word of advice:

Don't.

Yeah, street car tracks need maintenance.

And I'm sure the good folks who plan these things try to minimize the inconvenience.

But holy crap...

Trying to drive anywhere near York, Adelaide and Richmond Streets these days? You better pack a lunch.

Case in point: The only apparent way to get in to the Hilton Hotel at Richmond and University the other day was to go the wrong way on Richmond, which is nominally one-way westbound.

I must have done four clockwise laps of Queen-Bay-King-University looking for alternatives before I just bit the bullet and made what appeared to be the illegal right onto Richmond.

There is a 'two-way traffic' sign in front of the hotel itself, but you can't see it from northbound University, so there's nothing to indicate you can make that turn.

That same day I also had to get to King Street, west of Spadina. The even more recent closure of King west of Spadina, also for street car track maintenance, meant another detour.

Which is another issue - the road layout seems to change daily.

Good job I'm a city boy, and could figure out work-arounds as needed; how visitors find their way I cannot guess.

The traffic is just nuts.

Now, those visitors to our fair city who arrive by car have no options, other than to consign their car to a parking lot when they arrive, and take cabs or walk until they head on back home.

But the lesson for locals, both those who use the street cars which need that track maintenance AND those who believe that "TTC" stands for "Take The Car" is:

Come on people; I've been telecommuting since 1982. Time to move forward...

All This to Save Twenty Bucks on a Pair of Manolo Blahniks?

The so-called 'Toronto Premium Outlets' Mall is now open.

If only you could get anywhere near it.

Traffic was so bad on opening day last week that the OPP had to shut down the Trafalgar Road exit from the westbound 401 because it was blocking the highway.

From the east, it was stop-and-go from as far away as Mavis Road.

Traffic eastbound was also backed up west of Highway 25.

Not that there were that many cars exiting from eastbound 401. But if there's a traffic jam, well, you DO have to slow down to take a look, right?

(HINT: WRONG!)

Here's what it looked like Sunday afternoon, courtesy of the SatNav system in the Chevy Impala which shows traffic congestion in red:

Might be a bit hard to make out. Maybe there's a way to blow the photo up on your screen?

Anyway, I couldn't figure out how to have the SatNav system NOT show that address "8th Line Milton" on the map. But where those two red lines meet, that's Trafalgar Road. Steeles is a titch north of that (up and a shade to the left); the mall is on the south-east corner of Trafalgar and Steeles.

You can see that the 401 is essentially blocked in both directions.

The red line heading straight off the top is westbound 407 - it too is blocked. Imagine having paid twelve bucks to ride the 407 - kinda cuts into the 'Premium Outlets' savings, doesn't it?

Worse still of course if you don't give a damn about Manolo Blahniks or anything else they sell there. You just want to get to work, get home, get to the airport, get to the hospital.

But you can't, thanks to this wonder of modern retailing.

What - has nobody ever heard of Amazon.com? The days of Big Box stores and Outlet Malls are OVER, people.

Certainly, people who live in this area (like me - aw, you guessed...) wish this thing had never crossed anybody's mind.

They claim to have 2,300 parking spaces. What they need is their own exit from the 401 so customers could get to those spaces.

Presumably when the thrill wears off, traffic will return to something closer to normal. 

But until this thing goes bankrupt - it won't be a moment too soon - I guess we're stuck with it.

We locals at least know a few ways around this intersection. You'd better fire up your SatNav to figure out a bypass too.

Oh by the way, I don't even know if you can get Manolo Blahniks at this place. Do I get any brownie points for even knowing what Manolo Blahniks are?

Things That Do Not Go Together

Both Sleep Country and Toyota Canada have radio ad campaigns going on now with similar themes:

"Things that do (or do not) go together."

Great advertising minds thinking alike?

Or the same agency getting paid twice for the same idea?

I dunno.

If the latter, how clever! Sounds like a freelance journalist.

But whether it's mismatched box spring and mattress (Sleep Country) or balloons and thumbtacks (the example in one of the Toyota ads), I've got another pair of things that don't go together:

Motorcycles and flip-flops.

I kid you not. Saw this on the street in The Big Smoke last week.

OK, it was more of a scooter than a motorcycle.

But flip-flops?

Come on.

The law requires you to wear a helmet when on a motorcycle. Do we really need to pass a law to prevent you from wearing flip-flops? Is there no common sense?

Well, I guess not - after all, the guy was riding a motorcycle in traffic...

It's bad enough - and extremely dangerous - to wear flip-flops or even sandals in a car, because it's way too easy to catch the edge of that sort of footwear on a pedal and cause a major issue.

But on two wheels?

Stupid.

Now, I'm not condemning all motorcyclists. Only a few minutes later I saw a guy on a Harley-Davidson - big ol' hog (the bike), painted yellow, chrome all over the place.

Not to stereotype anyone, but Harley riders often play fast and loose with the helmet law - wearing World War I German army helmets, or some plastic concoction that wouldn't protect a cantaloupe falling off the kitchen table.

But this guy had a proper helmet, and full leathers. Hot, sure - but when the inevitable happens, as it eventually does to all motorcyclists, at least the paramedics won't have to scrape this guy's skin off the pavement.

So get serious, flip-flop-wearing two-wheeler. My taxes are paying for your health care.

I don't eschew all marginally precarious behaviour. I downhill ski, I race cars, I rally cars, I even hang-glid once (what IS the past tense of 'hang-glide'?)

But when I do, e.g., in race and rally cars, there's always a proper Snell-approved helmet, five-point harness, fireproof suit, HANS device, full roll cage, etc.

As regular readers know, I think - and no reasoning person could possibly argue - that riding in traffic on two wheels, motorized or otherwise, is deadly dangerous at the best of times. In a three-dimensional world, two wheels is at least one too few.

But if you are going to do it, fer cryin' out loud, take the barest minimum of precautions, won't you?